"There are things in life that no matter how hard we tried to understand things, still we cannot find the right answers on how to resolved our own issues"
A few months ago when me and boyfriend had a huge fight in my apartment, we almost physically hurt each other, for the record we never physically hurt each other. After the incident I decided to text my friend to go to my apartment because I am so disappointed and mad on what happen.
I told my friend everything that happen; he was shocked for what I did and what my boyfriend did to me. He never knew that we will come to the point of throwing things to each other where normally every time we’re having pity misunderstanding we just sit down and talk.
I am so much lucky to have a friend like him, because he never said anything that will make me feel better but in fact what he did was he asked me some questions that will lead to identify the issues. My friend told me that I have a strong character, that when I say things it normally doesn’t go with my actions. Hmmm I wonder “MUKHA BA AKONG ABNORMAL WHEN I SAY THINGS?” but seriously he told me that I am the type of a friend that will give everything that I can to someone that I know they deserve, that’s why often times when I asked favor they cannot say “NO” hmm now can somebody tell me what’s the real problem?And if they say no to me the looks or my facial reaction contradicts the way I say “its ok” “no problem” “I’m good”
My friend and I had a Christmas shopping in one of the malls in makati, till another friend called, inviting us for a dinner, when the three of us are together, I decided to text my boyfriend and asked him if he wants to join us for a dinner, the dinner went well except for, when my friend told me to remove my hat that we bought from the mall that I am going to use for our Christmas Party, when I removed my hat and looked in the mirror, I don’t like the way my hair looks so I told him, “nah it’s ok ill used my hat tonight” then he told me not to use it so that everyone will be surprise with my outfit…. Boohhhoooo I told him it’s ok besides there’s nothing too special on the event I just want to attend and what’s with the outfit thing? It’s very common. That’s it! Still he doesn’t want me to use my freaking hat. “ARGH” so I gave it to him and told myself it’s ok let it go but the other side of my brain keeps on telling me “why do have to do that, it’s your money, it’s your thing get it and tell him back off fag its my thing”but since I have these certain issue as what they told me, I have to compose myself, I have to control the situation, I have to know how to be on the positive mental attitude side. But it didn’t work the way I want it to be, “I AM BRAT! YES I AM – WHAT CHO WANTS CHO GETS”
Till I walked away and ride a cab going to work pretending that I’m all good which I know that my friends are too smart to know that I am not ok…. I gave my boyfriend a call to tell him what I felt with what happen then he asked me, you want me to talk to them, I said “no that is so immature, there’s nothing to discuss, these should not be an issue” the time I got to the office, I called my boyfriend again he told me that my friends decided to grab a cup of coffee and he might get one as well but on a different coffee shop then go home, after an hour I checked my phone to check if he got home safe, what a surprise never receive any messages from him so I text him after a while still no reply so I decided to text my friend and call to find out if my boyfriend is with them, for me it’s ok if he go out specially if he will be going out with my friends but the point is why he didn’t told me that he is still with my friends? I know I don’t have to put malice on the situation nor to be paranoid, but what’s the point of not telling me where he is, not to mentioned that he told my friends that he still need to go back to someplace where he needs to double check the set-up for their company Christmas party the following day, which I didn’t know so thanks to my friend for telling me that he has to do something after the dinner. I felt so disappointed and loser with what happen, I don’t know what else to do or think. “Is it me?.... or is it the people around me?
It’s about time to analyze things, things that aren’t working the way I want it to be. There are two questions on how to identify. First is to ask your self “what went wrong? After identifying and providing resolution asked your self again “what went well” then take it from there.
“MAHIRAP KALABANIN ANG SARILI